How to Enjoy Being Alone With Yourself

Posted on - in Health Inspiration

Being alone is not everyone’s favorite thing to do. Many people become anxious when they have to be alone because they get bored and wonder if something is wrong with them because they are lonely. This is not the way to benefit from alone time. Alone time should be some of the best time you have in life; even better than hanging out with friends.

We’d like to help you enjoy being alone so you can be more productive and happier.

Do It to Get Used to It

One of the reasons it feels uncomfortable to be by yourself is because you don’t do it often. The more you do it, the more you’ll get used to it, and probably enjoy it. Carve out at least an hour a week to be completely alone. That doesn’t mean driving in a car or hanging out online. It means sitting and thinking, working on hobbies or going places that you normally go with others.

Plan What to Do When Being Alone

Do you ever say to yourself, “If only I had some more time, I would do that?” If so, consider starting a list of things you would do, and when you’re alone, do them. You’ll learn to look forward to that time because you don’t normally get to do those things.

Do What You Can’t Do in Front of People

Everyone has a guilty pleasure – it could be singing to  yourself, watching nerdy TV shows or trying to learn a new skill that you aren’t very good at yet. You may not be able to indulge in it because you’re always with people. This is how you can learn how to enjoy your time alone, though. Think of what you need to do without anyone seeing you, and then do it during your alone time.

Do New Things

Engaging in new activities can help you find hobbies you never knew you would enjoy. Go to a museum, try your hand at painting or build something. When you’re by yourself, no one is around to critique your work or rush you. You can take your time and enjoy what you’re doing at your pace.

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Focus on Why You Love Yourself

This can be so difficult for some people, but it’s important when learning to enjoy being with yourself. You need to learn what you love about yourself. You can do this in many ways. You can be still and think about it. What makes you proud of yourself? Don’t just think about degrees/certifications/trainings you’ve received, but instead, think about the not so obvious. It could be your sense of humor, your ability to forgive and forget, or how you can be kind to people. Appreciate those things about yourself and reflect on them. You may even find yourself smiling.

You can take this one step farther by journaling about it. Write about your accomplishments or just times in which you were proud of how you’ve handled a situation. Think about how your personality fuels those actions and be happy with what you do.

Organize Your Thoughts to Remember What’s Important

When you have people around you, it’s difficult to organize your thoughts. Everyone is coming after you with so much, you end up just doing what’s most pertinent at the time. That’s no way to live life because you end up just running all of the time. During alone time, think about what you went through with being around a lot of people and try to figure out what’s most important. You’ll start to realize that this alone time really helps you calm down and make times that you’re not alone much easier to handle.

Seek Guidance When Alone Time Is Impossible

If you’ve tried all of these suggestions but can’t seem to be comfortable being alone, it may be time to seek help from a professional to learn the root causes of it being so difficult. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you at all. It just means you are missing out on a benefit that could really make you much happier in life, so finding out why you can’t be alone is a good idea. A counselor can help you figure it out, so you can be comfortable in your own skin. In time, you’ll be able to cope with the uneasiness of alone time, and make it work for you.

Give it a try today. In small doses, you’ll start to appreciate it, look forward to it and make it a normal part of your life.

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Kayla Matthews writes Productivity Theory and is constantly seeking to provide new tips and hacks to keep you motivated and inspired! You can also find her on Huffington Post and Tiny Buddha, and follow her on Google+ and Twitter to stay up to date on her latest productivity posts!


  1. Frank

    Alone time watching some TV series is the best. No bothersome questions while vegging out 🙂

    I have gotten into the habit of stealing alone time for myself by doing it in time-boxed, bite-size Pomodori… frequently! Most things and most people can wait *at least* 25 minutes. I take back my sanity one Pomodoro at a time.

    5 years ago
  2. Karun

    Kayla, it is wonderful start towards productivity of self. Many thanks & Many congratulations.

    5 years ago

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