Tips to Help You Get Over Guilt, Jealousy or Self-Hate

Posted on - in Health Inspiration
overcome guilt jealousy self hate

Sometimes we become blinded to our positive attributes, which leaves us soaking in a puddle of negativity.

Emotions like jealousy, guilt and self-loathing seep into our skin, getting harder and harder to remove with each passing second. This dark, unpleasant experience is an inevitable part of the human experience.

Luckily, there are some things you can do to escape the negativity with greater ease and speed:

Talk to Someone Who Loves You

One of the best things to do when self-loathing strikes is to reach out to someone who is familiar with all the good you have to offer. What are friends and family for, after all, if not to help you get over these types of humps? Have someone you love give you a pep talk. Let them remind you just how awesome you really are.

Read About Someone Who Is Known for Not Caring About Others’ Opinions

Outside opinions are, more often than not, the triggers that bring on guilt, jealousy and self-loathing. In other words, you will feel fattest, ugliest, stupidest, purposeless, etc. when comparing yourself to someone else’s standard. Shake those comparisons by embracing an individual who doesn’t care about that stuff. Read about plus-sized models who rock their sizes with confidence. Read about a comedian who embraces her physical flaws. Read about a rich person who once had nothing. If they can embrace and overcome their imperfections, so can you.

Do Something Kind for Someone Else

The Mental Health Foundation – among other groups – has brought the benefits of selflessness to our attention. While we may sometimes consider ourselves too busy or stressed to care about the well-being of others, it turns out that altruism can reduce stress and improve our moods. Doing good things for others can also reinstate our sense of purpose in the world. So the next time you have a chance to hold the door open or give your granola bar to a homeless person, do it. It will be mutually beneficial.

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Get up and Move Around

Studies show that exercise and movement can boost your mood. I know that when I feel down, I usually want to stay pent up in the house, watching TV on the couch. However, it’s the opposite that will leave me feeling more positive. So get outside and get moving. It doesn’t have to be intense cardio – try going for a walk, playing tennis or riding a bike.

Document the Positives

Once we become rooted in feelings of negativity, it’s hard to see anything as a positive. We should try, however. Remembering all the good things in our lives will help lift our spirits. One concrete method to help us recognize goodness is to write down uplifting thoughts, accomplishments, compliments and any other positives that come into our lives. Document these on a regular basis and keep them in a jar. That way, when you start feeling blue, you can pull it out and start combating your negativity with these tokens of brightness.

Do Something You Love

We’re often bogged down by feelings of obligation. We have to work so many hours each week, maintain some level of cleanliness in our homes and catch up with our parents. Our to-do lists, sometimes featuring less-than-desirable chores, are never-ending.

While these tasks may fill us will negativity and leave us feeling out of control, we can help ourselves by doing things we actually want to do. Regain control by breaking out of your routine – forget about rules and obligations. Treat yourself to a day off work, a day without the gym or pick up your favorite calorie-ridden latte you usually deny yourself. It will help you to remember that you are the boss.

The next time you’re feeling blue, these tips will help the negativity pass faster than ever before.

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Kayla Matthews writes Productivity Theory and is constantly seeking to provide new tips and hacks to keep you motivated and inspired! You can also find her on Huffington Post and Tiny Buddha, and follow her on Google+ and Twitter to stay up to date on her latest productivity posts!


  1. Theodore Nwangene

    This is very motivating Kayla,
    This post of yours have really uplifted my spirit.

    I agree with all your points. Talking a walk around when you’re moody
    is really one of the best ways to get over that feeling, this one has
    always worked well for me.

    Also, the idea of writing down all your positive sides and everything
    that makes you happy is also great.

    Finally, I’m going to practice all the tips you’ve mentioned here, I’m
    very optimistic that they will work perfectly well.

    Thanks for sharing.

    5 years ago
  2. Valerie

    I have used some of the same techniques to cope with chronic pain syndrome, and like the way you present them: positive, not preachy! .

    5 years ago

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